Why I Started Writing

It only made sense to start this writing archive by explaining why it exists.

As far back as I can remember, I’ve had an affinity for writing. I think it really began in college, when I used to write long letters to someone I loved while I was away from home. At first, it was simply a way to say things I wasn’t always very good at saying in the moment.

But I quickly realized that writing did something else too.

It slowed my thoughts down.

There is something strangely liberating about taking a feeling, an idea, or a completely tangled state of mind and forcing it into sentences. You have to look at it more carefully. Sometimes you discover that you didn’t actually understand what you were thinking until you tried to write it down.

Over time, the subject stopped mattering very much.

I wrote about technology, science, music, art, philosophy, spirituality, people I admired, things I was trying to understand, and occasionally things I had absolutely no business having so many thoughts about.

Most of it was never meant for anyone else.

Writing simply became a way of leaving little snapshots of myself behind — what I was curious about, what I believed, what I was struggling to understand, and how I happened to see the world at that particular moment.

Then, in 2018, I moved to Boston for graduate school.

Everything was new: the country, the city, the weather, the people, and the version of myself trying to make sense of all of it. I fell in love with Boston almost immediately. There were suddenly a lot more experiences to have, questions to ask, and things worth remembering.

Somewhere around then, the idea of having my own little corner of the internet started following me around.

Not really a blog in the traditional sense. Not a personal brand. Definitely not a content strategy.

Just a place that was mine.

A place where I could write something because I found it interesting, build something because I wanted to know how it worked, or follow a question much further than was reasonably necessary.

For years, though, it remained one of those ideas I would eventually get around to.

Eventually is a very convenient place to put things.

A lot has changed since then — in the world, in my career, and in me. And lately I’ve found myself thinking more seriously about the way I spend my time and attention.

I turn 30 in a few days.

I don’t think there is anything magical about the number itself, but milestones have a useful way of making you look around. I’ve been making a few deliberate changes lately: drinking less, taking better care of myself, slowing down a little, reading more, thinking more clearly, and paying closer attention to what I actually want the next chapter of my life to look like.

Less autopilot, I suppose.

There is a line from the Gita that I keep coming back to:

“You have a right to action, but not to the fruits of action.”
— Bhagavad Gita 2.47

I’ve always found something deeply freeing in that idea.

Do the work in front of you. Do it sincerely. Pay attention to the process. Let go, at least a little, of the need to know exactly where everything is going.

This website feels like a small exercise in that.

Yesterday, I finally decided to stop thinking about building it and actually build it.

I could have taken the quickest route. There are now plenty of tools that could generate most of a personal website before I finished my coffee. And I’ll happily use those tools when they make sense.

But that felt like missing part of the point.

I’m an engineer. I wanted to understand the pieces. I wanted to make architectural decisions, write the code, break things, rethink them, and hopefully learn something along the way.

The technical side of that process is documented in the Personal Site project, including the architecture, tools, and decisions behind the site.

So I’m building this place somewhat deliberately.

It will probably change. The design will evolve. I’ll undoubtedly rewrite things I once thought were finished. Some ideas will become essays; others may remain a few paragraphs. There will probably be code, science, music, technology, spirituality, and whatever rabbit hole happens to have my attention that week.

I don’t really have a grand plan for it.

And strangely, that is part of what I like about it.

Maybe, somewhere along the way, something I write here will find someone at the right moment.

Maybe it will be someone who has wanted to write but keeps putting it off. Maybe someone trying to understand an idea they’ve been circling for a while but haven’t quite been able to put into words. Or maybe someone simply looking for a place to spend a few quiet minutes reading about something that has been on their mind too.

If that happens even occasionally, I think this place will have done more than enough.

And none of this exists in isolation.

There are people in my life who have shaped me, encouraged me, challenged me, stood by me, and helped me in ways I probably won’t ever be able to properly explain. Some of them may read this. Some may never know how much of themselves quietly made their way into the person writing it.

I’m deeply grateful for all of them.

For now, this is simply a place to think in public, make things, and leave behind a record of some of the ideas that occupied my mind along the way.

A small home on the internet.

Finally.

- jainam